requiem

Death

Death is the fundamental act of Nature and a fact of life that is necessary to be embraced in order to lead a healthy life. it is unsustainable to deny Death, though much of the west’s culture of consumerism rests on our collective fear and rejection of it. the sweetness of this candy distracts my body from the fact that my insides are rotting. i scroll and forget the planet burns. as conscious beings with free will, we have the ability to attempt to evade Death - or at least convince ourselves we are doing so, though she will always eventually take her grasp. experience has taught me that I would much rather be present in the painful truth of Death and its many forms than hide from it at the cost of my Spirit. 

while popular culture force-feeds me fear of Mother Death, i find comfort in the stark awareness that one day I will be returned to my slumber under that warm, dark blanket. She holds me softly, and sings me to sleep. i love my body. i love my work. i love my life. i don’t want to see it go, but at times i yearn for that final deep rest, and when the time comes i will be ready for Death’s embrace. my acceptance of this Truth fuels my life. i can breathe clearly, present in my body. i walk slowly. i trust Time to take Her course. the times i find myself the most neurotic, anxious and depressed are when I’m out of touch with this undeniable Truth of my being. a few deep breaths are typically the antidote.

The Dog

the Dog is sorry. the dog hides his teeth in exchange for a smile from the man. the Dog is good. a good Dog is fed. the dog is shameful it won’t fend for itself like it’s ancestors. 

the Dog knows it can always still bite. 

Dogs are alluded to frequently in requiem. i resonate with the image of The Dog as it is a tamed animal. they feel foolish and sorry. the Dog’s need for love, companionship, food and shelter leads them to become a tamed fool. i feel a great amount of shame for how i’ve allowed myself to become tamed by western society. i dream of rejecting this docility - living off the grid, alone in the woods, a creature of my own agency, unseen by the Eye of Man, freed from my Personhood. then I clock into my job and pay my rent.

Breather

the “Breather” tag appears in much of my work as a nod to this practice of presence - claiming the label of “Breather” gives me reassurance and confidence in my devotion to Truth and Nature. this ethos and practice is in direct opposition to the narcissistic, ego-fueled individualism that we are asked to develop in order to engage in the bottomless pit of exploitative consumption of capitalism. being a Breather means I am cementing myself as one who lives in alignment with Nature, abundance and community over individual - choosing Breath over feeding the cesspool. 

Human + Nature

i have always been obsessed with Humans’ role in nature, and how i can live in a way to best fit seamlessly into Mother Nature’s unfolding. in many ways we are told in western culture to believe that we are separate from Nature, which in reality is far from the truth. this belief makes way for exploitation of our planet and our collective Spirit. i want to create the least amount of friction against Nature, which has resulted in me finding great utility for Intuition. Intuition is Nature’s voice within me. i lean on Intuition for guidance and i trust it wholly to lead me in the right direction. this has created a distinction between Me: a Human, and Nature. my Humanness defined by my consciousness and free will - the ability to move in dissonance with Nature. i strive for Unity between the two, but can rarely truly achieve it, if ever. Intuition is my guiding light.

making music serves as a regular practice for exercising intuition in my life. the resulting product of recorded music a gem i’ve returned with from diving into my subconscious and connecting with God.

i have developed a sense of Faith surrounding Intuition and Source, as it has come to function as a form of God for me. it is greater and wiser than me and it demands trust from me that i often don’t have a logical reason to grant it, other than the many times i’ve paid the price for doubting it. i am now wise enough to trust Her even when I don’t have a reason.